If you’re feeling far away from God, guess who moved?

Do you ever feel like God’s least present when you seem to need Him most?

Lost In Darkness

When I struggled with depression following my injury, God seemed to be a million miles away. I knew intellectually that He was right beside me, but it sure didn’t feel like that. I imagined myself wandering in darkness so impenetrable that not even God could find me.

As I began to get a handle on the depression, I seemed to discover edges to the darkness. Bits of light penetrated the oppressive blanket of despair. And I found that as I felt less lost, God’s presence suddenly felt more real.

While I was grateful for this feeling, I recall thinking that the process was backward. I really needed God when I stumbled in the shadows. Why did He feel closer as my need decreased?

Of course I know this was all in my mind, but that knowledge made it no less real or perplexing. It’s a question I hear frequently from others as well: I know I always need to feel God’s presence, but why does He seem farther away when I need Him most?

What Changed?

When I think back on my emergence from darkness, I notice something else. As I wandered less, I was more able to focus on something other than my pain and fear. I read the bible more frequently. My prayers involved more listening and fewer desperate pleas for relief.

I recognize now that God didn’t change or move. His Spirit always spoke to me, in darkness as well as light. The difference? I was listening.

In this passage from John, Jesus promises to send the Holy Spirit to His disciples.

“If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.” [John 14:15-21]

As I read this promise, I understand that seeing Jesus depends on my obedience. But it’s not that He hides when I’m disobedient, because He promises not to leave us as orphans. He’s always here; if I desire to see Him, I need to look.

Jesus’ Promises

That sounds easier than it is. In fact, it’s counter-intuitive. He’s saying that when I’m most lost and frightened is precisely the moment I need to trust Him the most. It’s sort of like a road map—you don’t bother with it when you know where you are, but it’s indispensible when you’re in unfamiliar territory. But how often do we keep going, certain that we’ll find our own way, rather than stopping to consult the map?

I think the trick is to practice during the good times. Just like you learn to read a map before you’re lost, you need to practice listening to Jesus when things are going well. The more you learn, the more you trust, the better you get at hearing Him and sensing His presence.

I’m always amazed when I see someone in a desperate situation who seems almost serene in their trust of Jesus. It’s almost like they’re in denial, ignoring the reality of horrible circumstances. But usually those folks have practiced for just such a moment. They’ve spent a lifetime listening to Jesus, trusting Him, practicing His presence.

Help Me!

If you’re lost right now, God didn’t go anywhere. If you can’t see Jesus, it’s not because He’s hiding. Your own fear, guilt, or regret might be clouding your vision, but He’s right there. He’s still the light of the world, even if your eyes are closed right now. He’s never going to leave you.

Stop and listen, not because it’s easy but because He promised that if you do it His way you’ll find peace and rest. Trust Him, not because you feel like trusting Him but because He’s already been to the bottom. He knows the way out.

Trust Him more, and you see Him more. See Him more, and you trust Him more. It’s the infinite cycle of sacrificial love that will bring you into God’s presence. 

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. [Hebrews 13:8]

What’s your way of practicing Jesus’ presence?

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Never allow what you cannot do to interfere with what you can do. ~ John Wooden

Whenever I speak to a group about adversity and dreams, I try to communicate the principle of REALISTIC OPTIMISM. I use The 8000/2000 Principle as an illustration.

In a culture with so much opportunity, I wonder why we’re so obsessed with limitations. I suppose there are many reasons, but I think a big one is fear.

While doing some research for a presentation, I encountered this quote that offers an enlightening slant on the source of our fear.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~ Nelson Mandela

God didn’t design us to hide in the darkness of fear. How would the world change if each individual acknowledged how much our abilities exceed our limitations?

How can you take a small step today to shine rather than shrink?

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Please leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net. 

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A friend reminded me yesterday of the subtle, subversive nature of sin. He pointed out how the world offers many shiny promises of hope and fulfillment. Money, possessions, and accomplishments dangle before us constantly, cleverly tempting us to swallow the lure of false security.

I thought about his observation in terms of The Story of the Jar. I won’t repeat the story, but please click the link if you’re not familiar with this image.

Jesus spoke directly to our tendency to fill our jar with shallow, meaningless rubble until there’s no space for the truth.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.” John 3:19-21

I so frequently fill my jar with the artifacts of darkness, as though a newer car or a bigger bank account will supplant gnawing emptiness. I seek acknowledgment and approval, hoping in desperation that a human spotlight can drive away fearsome shadows. I’m certain that enough success will somehow cast out the fear lurking in dark corners of my heart.

Cars and bank accounts enhance emptiness because there’s never enough. The spotlight only sharpens the shadows. Each accomplishment highlights lingering failure. Human attempts to fill the jar are simply false.

There’s only one source of light and truth. I can never fill the jar properly, but fortunately I don’t need to. Jesus fills my jar, and the entire world, with the true light. He stepped down into my darkness and offered a simpler way. My frantic efforts to shovel the world’s version of meaning into my jar aren’t required.

I want to live by His truth and come into His light.

Question: What’s one way you scramble to fill your jar that doesn’t work ?

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