If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room. Anita Roddick

Do you ever wonder if what you do matters?

When you send words into cyberspace every day, it’s an important question. It’s easy to wonder if those words make any difference, if anyone would care if they didn’t show up.

I’m not thinking about numbers and success and making money. You can measure that stuff easily. But does it really change anything?

I’m thinking that we often don’t recognize the significance of our actions. Maybe the most important things we do pass unnoticed.

I wonder if the most significant stuff happens while we’re busy doing what we think is important stuff. Here’s an example.

An Accidental Connection

I regularly follow Chris Brogan’s blog. Chris writes about social media and business, except that he really writes about how to be authentically human in an increasingly impersonal world.

A while back, he was talking about blogs that impact his thinking and he mentioned Jon Swanson’s blog, 300 words a day. He tossed in, as an aside, that even though he’s not a Christian he always reads Jon’s stuff.

Chris was writing about blogs and the right way to publicize and promote and build a community. The specific comment about 300 words and Christianity wasn’t his point at all.

But his throwaway comment made me curious. I checked out 300 words a day and immediately got hooked. I began reading and commenting, and then was honored when Jon asked me to write a guest post on February 12. Pretty cool connection, right?

Then yesterday I received an email. Jon was working on a post about Jesus’ encounter with a paralyzed man in the first part of John 5. He wanted to know if I could give him some insight on this interaction from the paralyzed man’s perspective.

So we exchanged a couple of messages, and I ended up writing another guest post called do you want to get well? that’ll appear today (3/11/10). You can check out my thoughts if you wish, but that’s not my point.

Look at the impact of a single off-the-cuff remark. Chris Brogan doesn’t know me, but he unintentionally created a meaningful, challenging relationship. He’ll make no money from it, and likely never even know it happened. But he enriched my life, helped me grow as a writer, and challenged me to examine my faith at a deeper level.

I suspect it also happens the other way. I wonder how many times I say or do something that discourages someone else. I’m not even aware of the impact, no opportunity to apologize or explain. I didn’t intend this outcome.

Today I’m thinking that everything we do or say has the potential to matter in ways we can’t predict and may never appreciate. While I’m focused on what I think is important, I need to be aware of what might be truly significant to someone.

Have you ever been encouraged, or discouraged, by the unintentional act of another?

A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives. Jackie Robinson

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A Reflection Of God

The Tyranny Of Nice

I’m Sorry

Most people publish a newsletter on some sort of predictable, regular schedule. I tried that, but it seemed so ordinary.

Besides, I kept missing my own deadlines.

So–here’s a link to the latest edition of Rich’s Semi-Regular Newsletter. A couple of exciting developments in the works–enjoy!

Here’s our newest contribution to the One-Word-At-A-Time Blog Carnival. I encourage you to click the link and check out some of the other carnival attractions. This week’s word is:

GOODNESS

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [Galatians 5:22-23]

When you proclaim God is good, what exactly do you mean?

As a practical matter, what does the goodness that’s a fruit of the Spirit look like?

Last week I wrote an article called Good … in which I confessed my tendency to define good in rather self-centered terms—if I like it, it’s good. The next day I disagreed with the common notion that It’s All Good.

But—what’s good?

I presume that goodness as fruit of the Spirit is some reflection of the pure goodness of God, but what exactly does that imply? Do you ever wonder why such a simple, foundational concept as God’s goodness creates so much confusion and even controversy?

GOOD MEANS …

• A good boy follows the rules.
• Good food is most likely bad for me.
• A good joke makes me chuckle, but a good movie might make me cry.
• I seek good friends, but might avoid a good (not great) surgeon.
• If there’s good reason, I’ll wait a good long time to have a good time.
• I work hard for admission to a good school; I’m merely satisfied with a good used car.
• I feel good even though my legs aren’t so good.
• C.S. Lewis said that trying very hard to be good only reveals how bad you truly are.
• Good is the enemy of best.

Good describes music, public policy, neighborhoods, and weather—all in different ways, almost all a matter of highly subjective opinion. Small wonder that God’s goodness evokes such widely varied, and equally subjective, thoughts and images.

And then there’s the whole notion that God works for good in all things [Romans 8:28]. Just yesterday someone told me that I should see my injury as a good thing because so much good has come from it.

Pardon the sarcasm, but if permanent paralysis is good, I might be willing to take my chances with bad.

Please don’t misunderstand. I absolutely believe that God works for good—my good, what’s ultimately in my very best interest—in all circumstances. But what is the good toward which He works?

I think we miss the point when we define good in terms of the things of this world. I think He has something much bigger in mind.

For me, God’s goodness manifests itself in His generous, sacrificial desire for open, authentic, transparent relationship. He wants to bring me closer to Him. He works in all circumstances to break down the enemy’s barriers.

God desires relationship with me so much that He paid the price of His Son to achieve it.

That’s the whole message of Relentless Grace. I give up; He’s faithful. I mess up; He pays the price for my forgiveness. I wander off; He pursues me, finds me, and brings me home.

That’s grace. That’s agape. That’s authentic goodness.

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT

When I live God’s way, His Spirit grants to me some small measure of His desire for relationship. I value people more than things, service more than profit, empowerment more than entitlement. I seek intimacy and vulnerability rather than power and control.

I become a bit more like Jesus.

If you’re interested, I’ve just released a new free e-book titled IF GOD LOVES ME SO MUCH, WHY …? Please click the link and read some of my thoughts about God’s role in times of adversity. Please visit my resources page for other free e-books.

I’ve learned that my goal shouldn’t be to affect change. It’s too easy to think I’ve failed because rarely is the person who plants the seed of change the person to see it bloom. Instead I’ve decided to make my goal to affect good. Trying to affect change can feel overwhelming, but good always self-propagates and ultimately leads to the change we’re usually after.

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It’s All Good  

Good …  

A New Thing

Accomplishing The Impossible

Happy Monday, and welcome to word-of-the-week day at Bouncing Back. Today’s word is:

EXECUTION

Ever get a great idea, mess with it, dream about it, develop a bunch of possibilities, talk to others about it—everything except actually doing something about it?

Ever see something really fun and think, “I couldda done that?”

Ever wonder why folks with inferior ideas get so much more accomplished?

Yeah—me too.

The difference between thinking and talking about something and actually doing something with it is execution.

It doesn’t matter what’s involved. Maybe a business idea, a program at church, a hobby you want to develop—it might be as simple as cleaning off your desk or deleting old files from your computer. But until you execute, it’s all just unproductive use of brain space.

What do you want to move from the “wish I would do it” pile to the “did it” pile?

Here’s to a week of less wishing and more execution.

This is also Word-of-Mouth Day, when I kindly encourage (or, from your perspective, pester) you to help spread the word about Bouncing Back. Today’s tip:

Forward the link to someone who might be interested.

Thanks for all of your help and support. Word of mouth is the BEST word of all.

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A really cool video for God-lovers and dog-lovers everywhere. (from Wendy Francisco)

I hope I reflect God at least as much as my dog does–but probably not.

If you have trouble viewing the video, please click here.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. [Romans 8:28]

Yesterday I wrote about one aspect of good. If you’d like to read that story first, go ahead … I’ll wait.

I’m sure you’ve heard the currently-popular expression: It’s all good. Today, I’d like to transform it into a question: It’s ALL good?

No, it’s not ALL good.

Yesterday’s story looked at our tendency to define good from a narrow, self-centered perspective. Good skiing weather may be bad cycling weather.

But that doesn’t mean it’s all relative. Some things are objectively, absolutely good, and some are objectively, absolutely evil.

Occasionally I encounter someone who subscribes to the theology of IT’S ALL GOOD. In this system it’s apparently sinful to label any circumstance as evil. The logic seems to hold that God is absolutely sovereign, so if He allowed something to happen then it must be within His will. And if it’s God’s will, then it must be good.

I don’t agree.

Good?

As a new teacher, I worked with a young lady whose mother died after a particularly horrible struggle with cancer. She came into my classroom one afternoon and sat for a long time, crying, and then she said something odd. She said she felt really guilty.

What do you think she felt guilty about? I thought of a number of possibilities, but I wasn’t prepared for what actually emerged.

She felt guilty for feeling sad.

Her mom just died, she’d watched her prolonged suffering, and she didn’t think she ought to feel sad.

Regrettably—from my perspective—her dad and sisters were committed disciples of IT’S ALL GOOD. God had decided to take their mother after subjecting her to a gruesome illness, and they believed she ought to be thankful and celebrate. No grief allowed—God’s will is good, no reason to mourn.

My student didn’t feel like celebrating, and she was now afraid that God was angry with her for feeling sad. This misguided notion of IT’S ALL GOOD twisted her perfectly natural and understandable grief into an even more frightening and confusing darkness.

Since that day, I’ve watched both of my parents and my closest friend die from cancer. I was sad; I believe Jesus was sad as well.

Twenty-two years ago I fell from a roof while installing Christmas lights. I do not believe God caused that fall. I believe Jesus shared my fear as the doctors told me I was permanently paralyzed.

And I do not believe God expected a grieving high school student to celebrate her mother’s suffering and death.

Some circumstances are undeniably evil. I’m thankful for the love of God who faithfully works for good—His version of authentic good—in situations where I see only pain and darkness.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. [Psalm 23:4]

Not “around” the valley, or “over” it—I travel through the valley of the shadow. I’m not always grateful for that journey and its pain and fear.

I AM grateful that Jesus travels with me. That’s ALL good!

I’m curious—what are your thoughts about IT’S ALL GOOD?

Did you enjoy this article? I encourage you to leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

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Five Toxic Thoughts

A Circle Of Great Love

Adversity And Gratitude

… isn’t always as clear as I think.

For me, one of the absolute principles of scripture is Romans 8:28:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I believe that. It’s been my source of hope in some dark moments when I could find no reason to continue the struggle. However, I suspect that I tend to see this wonderful assurance through a distorted lens.

I suspect that my perceptions of “good” mostly translate to “what I want.”

• Lots of money = good; less money = not good
• Easy = good; difficult = not good
• My team wins = good; the other team wins = not good

You get the idea. If I like it and it benefits me, it’s good.

I once heard a pastor from a rural North Dakota church tell a story that made me re-think my often self-centered notion of good.

The farms surrounding his church were struggling through a prolonged dry period. If rain didn’t come soon, an entire year’s crops would be lost.

So the pastor prayed for rain. A few days later it rained. And for the rest of the summer, rain was frequent and plentiful. The farmers harvested record crops, and the pastor thanked God for answering his prayers.

God had been good.

One day as winter approached one of his parishioners appeared in the office in great distress. His business was on the brink of failure.

The man ran a large contracting company that did road paving work. The season for this work in North Dakota is relatively short, and excessive rain had prevented him from completing contracted obligations.

Long-time employees who depended on his company for income and benefits were in danger of losing their jobs. Roads would deteriorate over the winter from lack of maintenance, leading to increased taxes for everyone in the county.

As he scrambled for a way to keep his business afloat until the following summer, he asked the pastor to pray for good weather. To avoid disaster, he needed an exceptionally productive season.

Good … isn’t always as clear as I think.

For me, this story’s a reminder that my perception of good is often pretty narrow and sometimes downright selfish. I believe God always works for good, even when I don’t see it. There’s a huge element of faith and trust that too frequently gets lost in my myopic view of events.

Tomorrow I want to look at what seems to me to be the flip side of this question. For now, I’ll leave you to ponder this quote:

We say that God is such a good God because it didn’t rain on our Sunday School picnic. But He was still a good God when He allowed me to watch my sister, Betsie, die in a concentration camp.
Corrie ten Boom

Is there any place in your life where “good” might be defined a little too narrowly?

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Struggle

The Butterfly Circus

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.  Shakespeare 

Are you different?

As a wheelchair user, I’m probably hypersensitive to differences. Even after twenty-two years of rolling around, I still feel uncomfortably conspicuous.

My inability to stand up makes me stand out—or at least that’s how it seems to me.

Distinctions are interesting. They spark debate, generate controversy, and attract attention. Life would be bland and boring without the diversity that makes each of us unique and truly one-of-a-kind.

My specific “difference” certainly creates interest. Most places, I’m the only person with wheels and a goofy-looking dog. I receive plenty of attention. In a world where so many folks feel nearly invisible, I have too much of what those folks desperately crave. So what’s the problem?

I think it’s an abundance of eyes.

But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. [1 Corinthians 12:18-20]

I want to be an eye—or a hand or an ear or anything other than what I am.

Thinking in these terms tells me a lot about me. I’m perfectly content to tell others they ought to celebrate differences. It’s easy to ask others to embrace difficult roles. “They” should be grateful for thankless, behind-the-scenes chores. After all, that’s the way God arranged things.

That’s all wonderful … as long as I get the part I want. I like the eyes. I want to be an eye. So do a lot of others.

THE RESULT …

… is an abundance of eyes. Eyes everywhere, along with pride, jealousy, and a false and destructive sense of entitlement.

And since most of us weren’t intended to be eyes, we’re not all that good at it.

Doesn’t matter. I like the eyes. I admire the eyes. The eyes get to do really important stuff. Everyone loves the eyes. If only I were an eye, I’d be happy.

I WANNA BE AN EYE!

And suddenly I’m that kid in the supermarket, throwing a tantrum as though I can embarrass God into giving me what I want. It’s not fair! I know my rights, and I have a right to be an eye!

Sound familiar?

I don’t believe God caused my accident or intended my injury, but that doesn’t really matter. I absolutely believe that God works for good in all circumstances. I believe He’s guiding and leading me to the place I’ll be most useful, where my unique gifts are needed, where I’ll be truly content.

And despite my childish thoughts, I do believe He just might know more than I do. He just might have a better sense of where I fit and what’s really best for me.

I need to remember that I’m not Him. I need to trust Him. I need to seek the discernment to understand the difference between “my rights” and “what’s right.”

I need the courage to do what’s right. I need to waste less energy wishing I could be an eye, and invest that energy where I am.

I need a lot of things. One of the things I don’t need is to be an un-needed eye.

Do you ever struggle with wishing you could play a different part?

it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.  e.e. cummings

Did you enjoy this article? I encourage you to leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

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The Need To Be Right

17 Ways To Wear Yourself Out

What’s Your Label?

Happy Monday! Welcome to word-of-the-week day at Bouncing Back.

Today’s word is:

STRUGGLE

Whatever the struggle, continue the climb.
It may be only one step to the summit.
Diane Westlake

As a teacher, I often joked with kids that if they were as creative and persistent in doing the work as they were in avoiding it, they would achieve amazing results.

I think we’re all a bit like that. I put a lot of effort into avoiding struggle. Given the choice, I rarely choose the more difficult path.

But we all know the easy route usually doesn’t get you to the best destination. So if I want to accomplish important goals, struggle is going to be part of the equation.

My dictionary defines struggle as to proceed with difficulty or with great effort.

When I think about struggle, I tend to focus on “difficulty” and “great effort,” But the key word here is “proceed.” Even when it’s tough, I need to continue.

Difficulty’s part of the deal. Worthwhile stuff requires effort. Once I accept those facts of life, I can remove my eyes from the struggle and focus on reaching the destination. Like my students, I can re-direct my energy toward reaching the goal.

Then I can proceed.

It’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you’re fighting for. Paulo Coelho

What’s a struggle you need to accept so you can proceed in pursuit of your dream?

This is also Word-of-Mouth Day, when I kindly encourage (or, from your perspective, pester) you to help spread the word about Bouncing Back.
Forward the link to someone who might be interested.
Subscribe below to receive blog updates via email.
Link to a post on Twitter or Facebook.
Sign up for my free semi-regular newsletter.
Join the Relentless Grace Facebook fan page. You can click the link, become a fan, write a comment on the wall, and suggest that your Facebook buddies also become fans.
Thanks for all of your help and support. Word of mouth is the BEST word of all.

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Someone put up a Facebook fan page for these pants worn by the Norwegian Olympic curling team. Currently the page has more than 480,000 fans.

Curling. Pants. Half-a-million fans.

The Relentless Grace fan page has 108 fans. I’m grateful for every one of them, but it does make me wonder about a few things.

Do I need to begin wearing crazy pants?

Should my feelings be bruised because curling pants attract 4500 times more fans than my book?

Can you do curling in a wheelchair?

This fun little video, called PIANO STAIRS, has no redeeming social value–except that it really does. Enjoy.

If you have trouble viewing the video, click here.