Jon Swanson at 300 Words A Day wrote an interesting article titled What Counts As Church? It’s worth checking out—some of the comments are pretty good also.

Jon basically tried to explain the essence of church once you strip away the unnecessary accessories that somehow become “church” in our minds. It’s a great reminder that, like most important things in life, it’s about relationships.

If you’ve followed Bouncing Back for a while you’ll know that I describe groups of people in terms of circles. Some people prefer “organization” or “tribe” or some other catchy term—I like the image of “circle.”

I’ve been working on some ideas about circles in preparing for a retreat, and Jon’s article prompted me to think particularly about the essence of a circle. Like churches, many circles are associated with extraneous frills.

You Don’t Need …

… secret handshakes or funny hats or binding membership contracts. Those are about exclusion and coercion, not relationship. If you have to devote energy to forcing ‘em to stay, you’re spending less time making it a great place to be.

… a building or an organizational chart or a fancy mission statement. Circles don’t need web sites, schedules, or programs. Some of that stuff might help, but many circles prosper without any of it, because circles are about relationship.

… clones who act, look, and think exactly alike. In junior high school that’s a clique. In adults it’s a cult. I’m continually amazed at this confusion between relationship and lock-step, robotic imitation. The circle becomes more dynamic and interesting when it welcomes different perspectives and ideas. Personally, I don’t want to hang out only with old bald guys in wheelchairs.

You Do Need …

… a common purpose. This doesn’t have to be formalized, because what’s written doesn’t much matter anyway. People will see the true purpose in the behavior of others. You might look here for some idea of what this blog is about, but you’ll decide to stay or leave based on the day-to-day interactions.

… a magnet. The best circles have something happening that arouses interest and makes people want to see what you’re up to. You don’t have to trick or force folks to check it out; you’re just doing what you do and it’s so cool that others want in. It’s like the chorus of the Newsboys song Shine:

shine
make ´em wonder what you´ve got
make ´em wish that they were not
on the outside looking bored

… an entrance. Circles aren’t just non-exclusive, they’re actively inclusive. They reach out and seek ways to bring in new members.

… an exit. If someone checks out your circle and decides it’s not their cup of tea, it has to be okay for them to leave.

Someone’s going to object that you’re only focusing inside your circle, and I agree. But isn’t that the only place you have any influence? Unless you intend to kidnap people, drag them into the circle, and lock the door behind them, there’s not much you can do about those on the outside.

But here’s the cool paradox— as you fuss less about those who aren’t inside and focus on making your circle a really exciting, attractive place, more people will see that there’s something worthwhile happening.

Someone recently told me that it’s about how many people get it, not about how many don’t get it. But in an interesting twist, as more people get it and get excited about it, a lot of outsiders will want to get it as well.

So instead of worrying about those who aren’t inside yet, make the circle shine so brightly that they can’t resist the attraction.

Does this make sense? Is this the way to grow the circle? What would you add?

• Did you enjoy this article? Please leave a comment or send me an email.
• Please use the icons below to share this article.
• Want to receive free updates? You can follow by RSS, or email updates.

Related articles:

How To Expand Your Circle

A Circle Of Great Love

Five Things That Get In The Way

Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.

What are you?

Does that question even make sense?

This weekend I discussed cycling with a relatively new acquaintance. He likes to ride, and he was really curious about my hand cycle. When he suggested that we ride together I chuckled. I don’t ride fast enough to give most cyclists much exercise.

So he asked, “About how fast do you ride?”

“Between nine and ten miles per hour.”

Really?

I thought about this later and wondered whether I described my riding accurately. So this morning I tried an experiment. I did 24.4 miles in 2 hours 39 minutes—9.2 mph, just as I claimed.

However, I purposely chose the route so the first half took me toward the foothills, predominately uphill, and 12.2 miles took 1:33—7.9 mph. Coming back, the same distance required only 1:06—11.1 mph.

So which is it? Am I a 9 mph rider, an 8 mph rider, or an 11 mph rider?

Actually, I looked frequently at the speedometer and never saw any of those precise numbers. None of those labels described my riding during parts of the course.

Labels are often averages.

My cycling is an obvious example because speed is easily quantified. But think about the other labels we stick on our foreheads—aren’t they usually some conglomeration of many varying behaviors?

You’re a Democrat? So now I know your position on every political issue, right? I attend a mega-church—we all know what THOSE folks are like!

I did a little estimating. My cycle route was probably six miles of real hills (up and down), which leaves about 12.4 miles of flats. Uphill is really hard for me, maybe 5 mph, so that’s 72 minutes. I ride about 12 mph on flat ground, so that’s 62 minutes. That leaves 25 minutes going downhill at 14.4 mph.

That means I spent about two-thirds of the course riding 12 mph or faster. So if my friend doesn’t mind waiting for me on the hills, we can actually ride together most of the time at a decent speed. But I dismissed myself as a “9 mph rider” who wouldn’t be good cycling company.

How often do we discount someone because of a label that doesn’t really describe the individual? How often are we putting someone in a bucket because of a single trait or behavior?

Are all “alcoholics” alike? No, but that label carries a stigma and a list of behaviors for many of us. How about “disabled” or “gifted” or “average”? Those buckets contain a lot of variety and individual differences, and a lot of people who have little in common other than the label itself.

Saturday evening a complete stranger told me I shouldn’t be allowed to sit near him at a baseball game because I wore a New York Yankees cap. I THINK he was joking, but it’s a good reminder to be aware of the labels I attach to myself and others.

I’d never thought about labels as averages, but many times that’s exactly what they are. “9 mph” doesn’t accurately describe my cycling, just as most labels don’t the folks to which they’re attached. I want to spend some time this week looking at the dangers of over-reliance on labels and categories.

For now, this question:

What are some labels you stick on yourself or others? How are they misleading averages?

Don’t rely too much on labels, for too often they are fables. Charles H. Spurgeon

• Did you enjoy this article? Please leave a comment or send me an email.
• Please use the icons below to share this article.
• Want to receive free updates? You can follow by RSS, or email updates.

Related articles:

Results Syndrome

A Very Big Young Man

Fifteen Lessons I Learned From My Dog

Note: This is part two of a conversation about excuses. You can read Part 1 here. I’m setting up a discussion tomorrow that may cause a bit of discomfort for all of us.

I suspect that we all know excuses aren’t a positive way to respond. Are you clear about the distinction between reasons and excuses?

Suppose I’m faced with a task to accomplish or a request from someone else. I need to answer three questions.

Do I really WANT to do it?

This includes a task from a job I really want to keep. If the answer’s YES I move on.

Am I ABLE to do it?

This means objective ability. For example, I may desperately WANT to walk across the street, but I don’t have that capability because of paralysis.

This one can be tricky, because we’re quick to substitute “I can’t” for “I don’t want to make the required sacrifices.” “I can’t” might mean “I can’t right now, but perhaps I could if I worked at it.”

In high school I wanted to dunk a basketball. It was easier to say I was too short (6 feet) or didn’t have the natural jumping ability than to train, work, and maximize my potential.

It’s possible that I honestly don’t know whether I have the ability. The “find out” stage might be a long, grueling delay while I develop necessary skills or accumulate required resources. If I’m not willing to do that work, I should revisit the first question. Maybe I don’t really want to do it.

Am I willing to do it?

I’m writing this during my normal bike-riding time, because it’s raining.

Do I want to ride? Yes. Am I able to ride in the rain? Yes.

Am I willing to ride in the rain? No. So I’m here because my comfort is a higher priority than exercising.

I suppose one could argue that WANT TO and WILLING TO are the same thing. I separated them because I see the “willing to” question as a metter of setting priorities.

Yesterday I wrote about a friend’s claim that she really wanted to have lunch but she was too busy. Since we’re friends, I believe she likes spending time with me. She certainly has the ability to schedule a lunch appointment.

She’s simply not willing to re-arrange her schedule. It’s a matter of priority.

YES

If all three answers are YES—I want to, I’m able to, and I’m willing to, then I can move forward and do the task. No explanation or justification required.

But what happens when I encounter a NO?

NO

As I see it, there are three legitimate reasons to decline a task or request.

• I don’t want to do it.
• I don’t have the ability to do it.
• I’m not willing to do it.

But we don’t like these responses.

My friend doesn’t want to say, “I’m not willing to rearrange my schedule to we can have lunch.” She claims that she’s too busy. Excuse.

I didn’t want to admit that I was too lazy to find out if I could learn to dunk a basketball. I said, “I can’t.” Excuse.

I don’t want to risk losing my job because I want to stay home today, so I say I’m sick when I’m not. Excuse.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Excuses are lies birthed by fear. We lie because we’re afraid to accept responsibility for our own desires, abilities, or priorities.

I’m afraid of hurting your feelings. I’m afraid of losing my job. I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me.

I’m convinced that fear is the most destructive force in our lives. Any time we give in to fear (My Advice For Satan) the enemy wins.

That makes excuses a powerful tool in the enemy’s arsenal.

Facing the enemy, acknowledging the reasons, avoiding the excuses–those require the courage to confront our fears and refuse to allow them to control us.

Easy to say. Not so easy to do.

What have I missed? Does the diagram make sense? What would you add?

Tomorrow I want to look at a particular excuse that hits a little too close to home.

• Did you enjoy this article? Please leave a comment or send me an email.
• If you read something here that you think others might appreciate, please share the link with your own network.
• Want to receive free updates? You can follow by RSS, or email updates.

Related articles:

My Advice For Satan

I Got Nothing

Begin With Why

Love will find a way. Indifference will find an excuse.

“I’d really like to get together, but I’m awfully busy right now.”

I don’t doubt that my friend is really busy. But guess what—we’re ALL busy. The message I heard was, “Having lunch with you isn’t as important as the other things I’m choosing to do.”

Is that unfairly harsh? Perhaps, but it got me thinking about the difference between reasons and excuses. I’d like to do a series of three articles about this topic, pointing toward Friday’s thoughts that may ruffle a few feathers.

I got an object lesson on excuses this weekend while riding my hand cycle—that tends to be where I do a lot of random thinking.

I approached a moderate hill and found myself slowing down. I realized I was concocting a lie to tell myself.

The Excuse

“I’d really like to keep cranking up this hill, but I’m too tired. I need to rest first.”

That simply wasn’t true. It was an excuse.

I’d been riding for about thirty minutes, so I was a little tired. But too exhausted to continue cranking up the hill? No.

The excuse was a lie to avoid admitting the actual reason. I really wanted to defer the discomfort of cranking up the incline. I knew it would hurt a bit.

I was afraid, but instead of acknowledging the fear of pain I was prepared to lie to myself. This excuse-making is a nasty, self-defeating habit. So I tried altering my self-talk.

The Reason

“I’d really like to keep cranking up this hill. I’m a little tired and I’m afraid of the pain, but I can make it to the top.”

And that’s what happened. My shoulders hurt, but it wasn’t that bad. I kept moving, repeating the process each time I felt myself slowing out of habit. Soon I’d cranked ten miles, and I stopped.

But this stop was different. It’s important to stay hydrated on a long ride, and since I pedal and steer with my arms I can’t safely drink while I’m moving. Plus, it was a nice shady spot by a stream and it was time for a rest.

Reasons, not excuses. I stopped this time by choice. I wanted to rest, I needed to drink.

See the difference?

I use a wheelchair because my legs are paralyzed—that’s a reason. I can’t go into that building because it’s hard to climb the ramp—that’s an excuse.

I’m thinking about excuses I use a lot.

• Excuse: I’d really like to study the bible more, but I don’t have time.
  Reason: I choose to watch too much television instead.
• Excuse: I’d like to do some longer rides, but the weather’s too hot.
  Reason: I choose to leave my blog post to finish in the morning so I get a late start.
• Excuse: I’d like to do morning devotions, but I need to get started on work.
  Reason: I choose to stay up late. It’s a higher priority than devotions.
• Excuse: I’d like to promote Relentless Grace, but if people really like it the word will spread.
  Reason: I’m afraid of appearing to be a self-promoting spammer and I allow the fear to control my actions.

Excuses are lies designed to fool myself or someone else. Even when the real reason isn’t very positive, it feels a lot better when I’m honest about the reason rather than offering an excuse that usually fools nobody.

The only person who is really free is one who can turn down a dinner invitation without giving an excuse. Jules Renard

What’s a favorite excuse for you? What’s the true reason behind the excuse?

###

Thanks to those who responded to the opportunity to purchase copies of Relentless Grace for donation to libraries in hospitals, rehab centers, and other places where people might be searching for hope. If you’re interested, please click here to find out more details.

Did you enjoy this article? Please leave a comment or send me an email.

If you read something here that you think others might appreciate, please share the link with your own network.

Want to receive free updates? You can follow by RSS, or email updates.

Related articles:

Reflecting Jesus

Disabled…Really?

Why Take The Risk?

Jesus said, “You know the way to the place where I am going.”

Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” [John 14:4-7]

Have you ever been frustrated and said, “Just tell me the rules”?

Last time I gave Satan a little advice. If I wanted to mess up someone’s life, I’d get them to respond to fear. A great indicator of fear is the anger and frustration that demands a list of rules.

The enemy moves toward his goals when we focus on lists of rules. When we try to reduce complex aspects of life like relationships or faith to a set of absolutes, we reduce our own humanity. And that’s what the enemy desperately desires.

Some rules are good. If you’re using computer software, it’s a good idea to learn and follow the rules when you begin. You can break them later when you know what you’re doing.

See, that’s the thing about rules. They’re usually a place to begin. Nothing wrong with that, but we get in trouble when we substitute rules for understanding.

Rules are often intended for novices. Every parent of a three-year-old establishes absolutes like “never step in the street unless you’re holding my hand.” It’s a perfectly logical rule—for a three-year-old—but the kid’s life would be miserable if he turned it into a life-long barrier.

Many rules are meant to evolve or disappear with wisdom and experience. A great way to hinder growth is insisting on absolute compliance to an outdated rule.

Think about you own “rules” and see if any of them were established for particular circumstances that no longer exist. Do any of them need to be modified or eliminated?

Rules are often minimums. Drivers know the basic “rules of the road.” Does anyone believe that knowing and following those rules makes you a good driver? Laws and regulations are a starting point, but they can’t replace experience and judgment.

“Stay out of the street” doesn’t insulate that three-year-old from harm. That doesn’t make it a bad rule, but good parents teach their children to develop awareness and understanding that translate to other situations.

Are you settling for minimum expectations by following any of your personal rules?

Rules encourage a search for loopholes.  Nearly any rule can be circumvented. Adhering to the “letter of the law” is rarely the same as doing the right thing, and the enemy wins when following the rules becomes the acceptable standard of behavior.

Children discover incredibly creative ways to endanger themselves. “Stay out of the street” doesn’t cover parking lots or driveways. Strict, ironclad rules can never cover all the possible exceptions.

Can you see places where you justify marginal choices by claiming that “you’re following the rules”?

Rules are often shortcuts. I don’t want to invest the time and energy to understand how it works. Just tell me the rules so I can get on with it.

That’s okay for low-level, algorithmic processes. I don’t need to know the science behind engine lubrication—I’ll just get the oil changed when it’s time. That’s enough.

The problem occurs when we turn relationships and interactions into rules. Anyone who’s married knows that a sure path to disaster is following a list of rules.

Are you using someone’s list of “ten ways to …” as a shortcut, to avoid the hard work of listening and caring and serving?

I’m not a big fan of rules and laws. I don’t advocate breaking them, but I don’t think they get us closer to doing right.

In John 14, Jesus was preparing His friends for His departure. In verse 4 He says, You know the way to the place where I am going.”

Thomas replies that he doesn’t know. He wants a map and some directions.

And Jesus answers, “I am the way …”

We can’t know God by following the rules. There’s no system of laws that can get us where we were intended to be. Jesus didn’t give us a map, because it doesn’t work like that.

“I am the way.” Jesus gave us Himself as a compass to point the way. Rules won’t do it. I have to get to know Him.

Where are you using rules to substitute for authentic principles of love and respect? What can you do to move away from this tendency?

Did you enjoy this article? I encourage you to leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

Receive free updates via email:

Subscribe in a reader

Related articles:

Go And Do Likewise

If I Got Jesus, Do I Really Need All These People?

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. [1 John 4:16-18]

Do you think you’re controlled by fear?

I’ve recently encountered a couple of suggestions for Satan. Writers emphasized the negative impacts of some behavior or issue by stating, “If I were Satan, I’d try to get everyone to …” The implication is that if the enemy could get at this one particular piece of us, everything else would collapse.

It’s an interesting notion. What’s the one place you’d attack if you wanted to do the most damage to the most people at a really fundamental level?

Tough choice—we’re pretty vulnerable and fragile, lots of weaknesses to exploit. Satan is an expert, and I’m not a fan of unsolicited advice anyway.

MY ADVICE

But if he asked, I’d suggest prompting us to react to fear.

He doesn’t really need to create fear. We’re surrounded by real and imagined threats, and there’s no shortage of people who’ll highlight and exploit them. The boogeyman is everywhere. The enemy’s only job is to whisper that we must react immediately to fear.

Politics and political media thrive on fear. “You’re either with us or against us” is the rally cry as we demonize and condemn those who disagree. They’re obviously intent on destroying the ideals we hold dear. We must crush them at all costs.

A lot of religious energy focuses on fear, especially when it’s mixed with political or theological ideology. We’re told to fear the enemy, fear hell, and especially to fear anyone who sees things differently. Listening to much of the rhetoric, you’d conclude that Jesus hadn’t already won the battle and God can’t withstand questions or challenges.

Personal and professional interactions invite fearful reaction. In an uncertain economy, the competitor, the colleague, the boss—all of them become threats to financial security. Loved ones hold the keys to emotional security, so we control or withdraw to protect our hearts.

In a time of great peril, Franklin Roosevelt exhorted, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”

Fear is our most powerful emotion. Unchecked fear trumps faith and overcomes love. Important to note—the real problem isn’t fear, but unchecked fear that controls choices, attitudes, and behaviors.

COURAGE

Lots of people think courage is the absence of fear. But if you’re not afraid, why would you need courage? Courage means doing what’s right in the face of fear.

When we help others confront their fear and hold fast to truth, we give them courage—that’s encourage. When we prey on their fear, emphasize the threat, and spur them to act in response to fear, we remove courage—that’s discourage.

Fear tells us to forego principles for immediate results. Fear directs us to destroy the boogeyman at all costs, even if it means violating our most cherished values. That’s discourage.

And here’s the truth: perfect love drives out fear.

My understanding of this truth might be this paraphrase: perfect love drives out the need to react in fear.

John is not telling us we can’t experience the feeling of fear. Jesus certainly experienced fear as He faced the cross.

Love enables us to face the fear, to not be controlled by it. Love supplies the motivation to hold to eternal principles when fear tells us otherwise.

Love encourages.

The next time someone pushes you to react in fear, ask yourself if their words encourage or discourage.

If they suggest compromising eternal principles for some immediate result, they’re leading you to react in fear. That’s discourage.

If they direct your attention to Jesus’ simple message of unconditional love and respect, if they prompt you to cling to eternal principles in the face of temptation, they’re guiding you to do truth despite fear.

That’s encourage.

What voices of discouragement do you hear?

Did you enjoy this article? I encourage you to leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

Receive free updates via email:

Subscribe in a reader

Related articles:

Don’t Be Afraid

How To Give Unsolicited Advice

The Real Power Of Forgiveness

**This article is a re-post from April 19, 2009. I’m re-visiting the archives while my wife and I enjoy a few days of vacation.

Do you have any favorite “catch phrases?”

I like to read bumper stickers. I think there’s something clever about expressing an important bit of philosophy in a few memorable words and convincing someone to display your wisdom on their car.

I saw a catchy phrase yesterday that summarized the way I seem to live a good deal of my life: trapped behind an open door.

A story’s told of Houdini once being challenged to escape from a jail cell. After he was placed in the cell and left alone, he removed a thin strip of metal concealed in his belt and began working at the lock. But no matter what he tried, he couldn’t unlock the door.

The great magician had been tricked, because the door was never locked. All he had to do was open it, but his belief that the door was locked was sufficient to confine him.

I think many of my “troubles” are like that. I fuss and worry and struggle, only to discover that a significant portion of the problem lies within my own attitudes. I waste precious energy fighting to flee my self-imposed confinement.

I cannot escape from unacknowledged iron bars constructed of my own fear. As long as I ignore the cell I’ve created, I’ll languish in isolation as authentic as any prison might inflict.

I own a get-out-of-jail-free card, because I alone control my attitude. Perhaps I should simply push the door open.

You can fight to maintain the self-created limitations that imprison you. You can plot and scheme an impossible jailbreak. But you’ll always remain trapped behind an open door, limited by your attitudes and your belief in the lock.

As Houdini discovered, you can’t unlock an unlocked door.

I’m not blind to evil in the world. A great attitude won’t make my wheelchair disappear. Some doors are real, and “the power of positive thinking” doesn’t magically remove the iron bars and imposing locks of disease, pain, and grief. We can’t wish our way past the very real adversity that sometimes confronts us.

But I’d sure like to spend less time trapped behind open doors.

What’s an open door you’re trapped behind?

Did you enjoy this article? I encourage you to leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

Receive free updates via email:

Subscribe in a reader

How should you offer unsolicited advice? You shouldn’t.

This morning I rode a bike trail that includes an underpass and a particularly steep ramp. It’s one of my favorite routes, but for me that ramp is a killer. No matter how hard I try I can never get quite enough momentum to crank to the crest. I always stall just before reaching the top, so I have to just hold myself steady, make sure I don’t roll backward, and inch my way the final three or four feet.

So this morning I was maintaining my stalled position and creeping forward when a guy rolled past. He called over his shoulder, “You should shift to a lower gear before climbing a hill.”

Wow. If only I’d known…

I confess—my thoughts at that moment weren’t something like, “Hosanna, the Lord hath provided. Praise God for sending such a wise and generous man.”

I wondered if he really thought I didn’t know about shifting gears. If he’d taken a moment to understand the situation he’d have seen that I was indeed in the lowest possible gear. I would have assured him that I had tried a number of strategies, but my lack of dexterity and strength hasn’t allowed me to conquer this particular challenge yet.

But he didn’t bother to even slow down. He simply tossed out what felt like a dismissive, condescending nugget of drive-by advice. I wonder what he intended, what he was thinking—or if he was thinking.

Did he imagine that his pearl of information would help me reach the top of the ramp? Not likely, since you can’t change gears while stopped on a steep incline.

Was he concerned for my immediate safety? If so, perhaps he might have slowed down to ask if I needed help.

Some advice is a shortcut that demonstrates a lack of genuine concern. Providing helpful feedback requires time and patience and the commitment to engage in authentic relationship. It’s much quicker to provide a quick “If I were you”—even though you’re not—and then move on.

Sometimes advice generates a false sense of superiority. Since I’m clearly not as smart as you, I’ll never be able to figure this out on my own. The only way for me to avoid a mistake is for you to tell me what I should do.

Advice is often a simple quest for short-term results. I don’t really care whether you learn principles that might enhance your ultimate independence or problem-solving capability. I just want the answer or the sale or the immediate gratification. We’ll worry about that other stuff later.

When I speak to groups of kids about disability issues, they’re often concerned about how to help without offending. “What should I do if I see someone who appears to need help?”

My answer is to ask if there’s something you can do to help. This doesn’t guarantee that the person won’t be offended, because some folks look for excuses to be offended. Whenever someone asks me that question, I smile and thank them for asking. Usually I’m fine, but occasionally I do need a little help and I always appreciate the concern.

So if you see an old bald guy stalled near the top of a ramp, don’t tell him what he should have done. He’s probably self-conscious enough already.

But don’t just ignore him, either. This might be the day his shoulders are a little fatigued, and maybe he’s about to lose his grip and crash. He might appreciate a little push, or he might thank you and tell you he’ll be okay.

Either way, you’ll know you offered with a heart of service and love.

Are you ever tempted to offer unwanted advice to kids, spouse, or friends? What’s a better response?

It’s not my place to solve your problems. My job is to love you while you solve your problems. Cec Murphy

Did you enjoy this article? I encourage you to leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

Receive free updates via email:

Subscribe in a reader

Related articles:

Results Syndrome

Reflecting Jesus

Things You Didn’t Do

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. [Philippians 4:8]

What do you read?

We can’t be better than the ideas with which we surround ourselves.

Immerse yourself in the bible and you’ll get closer to God. Listen to people who ponder issues of spirit, faith, character, courage, and integrity, and you’ll have a chance to raise the bar in your own life.

Or … a steady diet consisting solely of reality TV and celebrity gossip will turn your brain to a mush of inane, irrelevant trivia.

Spend hour after hour listening to partisan political bickering in which talking heads hash and re-hash the same tired rhetoric, often while yelling and interrupting, and you can actually begin to believe that twisted truth, personal attacks, and rude behavior are acceptable forms of discourse.

Some claim that reading is dead, strangled by computers and the Internet. I see it differently—I see much more information than ever before, in different forums and formats for sure, but I think many folks are reading more than ever.

I don’t read as many books as I should, but I do read a lot every day. In addition to news sites, I follow a number of online sites and blogs that relate to my new endeavors as writer and speaker.

A number of people have asked over the past few weeks about how to get started with writing and/or speaking or where I get my inspiration and information. So I thought I’d share my daily reading list, for what it’s worth. I use Google Reader to aggregate my favorites in one place—if you’re not familiar with this tool (just Google it), it’s a simple, convenient way to keep up with a number of sites.

Heck, you could even add Bouncing Back to your list (that’s a hint).

I’ve tried to categorize and prioritize. I almost never miss the top sites—I read and study them carefully. Further down the list I’ll skim or even skip depending on workload and time constraints.

People who challenge my thinking about Jesus

These are on my personal “must read” list. No matter what else is happening, I try to spend some time with these every morning. I highly recommend them.

300 words a day (Jon Swanson) Jon writes about faith in simple, non-religious language that brings Jesus’ message into the reality of daily life. He’s so generous that he’s even let me guest-blog a couple of times.

Donald Miller Don is an incredible writer, a man of great faith who’s not afraid to share his own doubts and failures. He’s the best-selling author of Blue Like Jazz and A Million Miles In A Thousand Years.

Publishing and business

These three guys get it—they understand that business is about people and relationships. I learn a lot every day from their thoughts.

Seth Godin Seth has a way of looking past the surface junk and seeing what matters. He’s a master of identifying the big, unifying ideas that make organizations tick.

Chris Brogan Chris is a social media guru. We don’t always agree, but he understands the human side of business and communicates his sometimes radical ideas in a way that makes you think he’s sitting across the table.

Michael Hyatt Michael is CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing. I especially learn from his thoughts on Christian leadership.

Alternative lifestyle and business

These folks are looking at combining work and life in unusual ways. Since that’s sort of what I’m doing, their experiences help me a lot. They’re also good writers who aren’t afraid to poke at sacred cows a little.

The Art Of Noncomformity (Chris Guillebeau)

Escape From Cubicle Nation (Pamela Slim)

Tim Ferris

The Happiness Project (Gretchen Rubin)

Presentation and design

Presentation Zen (Garr Reynolds) I’ve learned a ton of good stuff about presentations from Garr.

Writing and blogging

Cec Murphy’s Writer Cec is an amazing Christian writer who’s published or co-authored a number of best-sellers, most notably 90 Minutes In Heaven. He teaches me a lot about the craft of writing.

Daily Blog Tips There are many blogs about blogging—this one offers a lot of useful and practical ideas.

If you check out any of these sites, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Also, do you have any favorites to share?

Did you enjoy this article? I encourage you to leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

Receive free updates via email:

Subscribe in a reader

Have you ever looked back and wondered, “Why in the world did I do THAT?”

Sometimes that’s my whole life. I’ve wondered at times about getting the question tattooed on my forehead.

Last time we looked at the deadly self-infection of Results Syndrome. When I’m motivated by immediate results, I often find myself wondering (too late) why I did something so dumb.

Since one of my big personal goals is a more intentional life, I need to get better about making choices. I’m thinking that an important element in avoiding Results Syndrome is beginning with WHY.

Simon Sinek examines this seemingly basic notion in his book Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action. He offers a nice visual to reinforce the idea.

Too often, we make choices like this. We decide what to do based on pressure, fear, desire, or some other immediate stimulus. Then we work toward the center and—after the fact—ask why. In this model we end up either questioning our personal sanity or creating elaborate justifications for a decision that makes little sense.

Simon suggests that we make better choices when we begin with why.

Why cuts deep. In a culture that skips along the surface of life, why points me to my core values. Why centers my thinking more on eternal principles and less on temporary cultural or personal whims.

Why guides me toward “what’s right” and away from “what works.” Why prompts consideration of “what’s best” rather than “what’s possible” or “what’s easiest.”

A young person who stops to ask why might be better equipped to face pressure to compromise on issues of drugs, alcohol, or sexuality. A parent might be more apt to listen openly and lead rather than herd.

A politician who seriously asked why might be less inclined to avoid difficult issues based solely on a desire to be re-elected. A voter might look past appearance and ideological rhetoric.

A church that asks why might look less like an exclusive club catering to a better class of sinner. A follower of Jesus might be more forgiving and accepting, less inclined to judge and condemn.

I spend a lot of time and energy wondering what to do and how to do it. A lot of my prayers are about seeking guidance about what God wants me to do or how to follow Jesus in a particular situation. Perhaps I’m not aiming at the center of the target.

Maybe why is the center, the place to begin. When “what to do” and “how to do it” flow from “why am I doing it” I might spend less time looking back and wondering why I made such an obviously harmful choice.

I think God cares more about my character and my heart than my achievements. I suspect that if I act from the right why, if my heart’s centered on His purpose instead of mine, He’ll use even my imperfect efforts to accomplish great things.

Can you see any places where “beginning with why” might be helpful?

Did you enjoy this article? I encourage you to leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

Receive free updates via email:

Subscribe in a reader

Related articles:

Leading Or Herding?

How To Change Another Person

What Are You After?